


Room Invasion

by MadDramaQueen



Series: Adventures in the SortaMalicious MadHouse [8]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: and the chaos the MadHouse has to bring, based on Ryan's twitch community, madhouse, sortamalicious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7552471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Vagabond is going on holiday and left her room unattended.<br/>Let's go explore!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Room Invasion

"I'm off on my holiday!" 

Lotti waved back at us, opening the front door, while holding her luggage in the other hand. Some of the Vagabonds were gathered by the door to send her off. She was headed on holiday for a week to play video games at a convention. So, she could've just stayed in the MadHouse and locked herself in her room all week. Change of scenery, perhaps? 

"Behave yourself! Don't act too crazy!" I said, giving her a big hug. I was gonna miss her running around the house, trying to catch us in a real version of Dead by Daylight. I'm not kidding. She uses clothes hangers as hooks and puts them around the house. Lotti just chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Tabby, I'll be fine. Don't worry! Just don't have too much fun without me." 

Cheryl ran past me and gave her a big hug. "Lotti! I'm gonna miss you! Take lots of pics and bring me back all the merch!"

Joe exclaimed, after swallowing a bite of his banana. He's a true Ninja Monkey. "Hey! Save some merch for the rest of us!" 

Lotti broke free of the hug and started to walk out the door until she stopped. Did she forget something? "Oh, and one more thing before I go. Just a little something to remember. Do NOT- I repeat, do NOT go in my fucking room, okay? It is crucial that you do not go in there when I'm not around. Shit hits the fan, I'm not kidding. Just, uh...don't go in there. Or, I'll kill ya. Okay?" She glared at all of us. 

Omega rolled his eyes and chuckled. "What's gonna happen? Do you have a creature in there that's gonna eat us up? Or maybe your computers will come to life and destroy the human race? Oooh. I'm sooo scared!" 

Lotti grabbed him by the shirt and gave him such a menacing glare. "Omega, I am warning you. Don't go in there, or ELSE. You will be doomed. DOOMED!" She shook him vigorously, dropped him to the floor and then smiled again. "Okay! I'm off now! Byeeee!" And she skipped off to the waiting taxicab to take her away. 

"Well, that wasn't creepy at all." Jo slowly starting to back away from what just happened. 

But, I had an idea of my own. "Hey, guys. Let's go in her room."

Layne stopped chasing Pokemon and looked at me as if there was a spider on my head. "Are you nuts?! Who knows what creepy things are lying in there?"

I didn't care. "She's a gamer, just like us. There's nothing crazy in there that we probably haven't seen before. Now, does anyone here know how to pick locks?"

Omega raised his hands with a calm swagger to him. "Hey, uh...I do." 

The Vagabonds just stared at him. 

"What? It's a hobby!" He shrugged.

\----------------------  
Having us all crowded around a single door has to be seen to believe. We were all just waiting for Omega to pick this lock. He seemed so confident in his abilities that we knew he'd get it done. It was just a matter of when. 

"Omega, are you done yet?? I have a Diet Coke in the fridge with my name on it. No, seriously, it has my name on it. Don't touch." Jess stated, looking impatient. Probably wanting to get into the weapons room again, no doubt.

"It's a very precise job. Have patience. This lock is pretty tricky." Omega kept fiddling with the lock. Compared to my skills, he was a master at work. 

Cheryl kept looking around as if Lotti was going to spring down on us at any moment. "I hope we don't get caught. We shouldn't even be doing this. Damn it, Tabitha! You and your ideas!" she exclaims, glaring at me. I hold up my hands in surrender.

"You wanted me to be more 'mad' in the MadHouse! This is my contribution! If this all goes to hell, you can blame me."

Jess stood up and started walking away. "That's it. I can't wait anymore. I'm getting the flamethrower." 

Right on cue, Omega hears a click and the door slowly opens. She must've uninstalled her evil laughter alarm because my ears were spared. "All righty. The door is open, Vagabonds. Have at it." 

"Who goes in first?" Fallz asks. 

I peek inside and see nothing out of the ordinary. Just your average Twitch stream set up, with a flat screen TV mounted on the wall, a shelf filled with nothing but video games and a bed with little cow emotes all over the comforter, and plushies on top of the pillows. On the walls were various posters of YouTubers, boy bands and autographed pictures from celebrities. Lotti seems to meet a lot of interesting people at these conventions. Lucky. 

What wasn't lucky was Joe using his "ninja monkey" legs to kick me into the room and me falling flat on my face. "OW! Damn it, Joe! What was that about?!" I exclaim, now in the room of the vacationing Vagabond. I stand up and brush off my clothes as I turn to see Joe shrug. "The ghost of the MadHouse told me 'YOLO,' so I did it." 

Of course. The ghost of the MadHouse adds to the chaos here. Rumor has it that if you leave a rose by the garden door at 4:20 AM/PM, he give you good luck towards your next video game achievement. I'm still stuck on the Doctor of the Peggle Arts Achievement. Where's my luck, huh?!

One by one, the adventurous Vagabonds slowly trickled into the room. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Well, except when Jess pulled out a pocket knife when she rolled into the room. Of course. 

"Okay! Nothing to see here! Let's go, Tabby!" Cheryl said, trying to pull me out of the room.

"Aw, come on. There has to be something here! What could she be hiding?" I ask, looking around. The way Lotti put it, you'd think there was something really off about this room. 

*CLANG!* 

Azriella let out a scream and looked around as a cage fell and trapped us all inside. I must've triggered an alarm or something. "What the hell was that?! Why is there a cage in here??" she exclaimed. 

"Please! You have magic in your room. This is nothing compared to that." Omega stated, trying to keep his cool. He looked like he could easily pick this lock, too. He was right. Azriella was the resident MadHouse witch, always surrounding herself with the latest spell books and potions. One time she actually turned Ryan into a cow. Buuuut, that's another story.

"Have you got any ideas, genius?!" Rae asked. 

"Well, the option of panicking and yelling for 'help' comes to mind, but that won't help us here." Omega stated, as some of the Vagabonds looked ready to do just that.

"I mean...the flamethrower could help us here." Jess shrugged. 

"No! No flamethrowers! None of that nonsense!" I exclaim, as Fallz let out a giggle. She seems to like it when I say the word 'nonsense.' 

"HELLO, INVADERS OF THE LIGHTNING FLOURISH GAMING ROOM. YOU HAVE INVADED. PREPARE TO DIE." echos a booming voice into the room. It sounded like Lotti, but if she was speaking into a voice changer and sounded like a demon from hell. I'm surprised it didn't shatter the windows of the whole house, but then again, she soundproofed her room. 

"The hell was that?!" Joe's eyes widened as he looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice. 

"I HAVE LOTS OF FUN THINGS PLANNED FOR- *cough* *cough* Sore throat, God damn it. Every time I try to sound menacing...." the voice muttered as it cleared its voice and tried again. "LIKE I WAS SAYING, I HAVE FUN THINGS PLANNED FOR YOU. PREPARE TO FACE THE HORRORS FROM MY VERSION OF HELL!" 

A small bunny hopped out from under Lotti's bed. She looked cute, adorable and had the sweetest face I've ever seen. 

"Awww! Look at the bunny! It's so cute!" I cooed from behind the cage bars. I wanted to just reach out and pet it. 

"Meh. It's just a bunny. Not that cute." Omega shrugged. Truly he was too hip for the room. 

Just then, the bunny's eyes turned red, hissed at us and took out a paintball gun from behind its back. Hammerspace at its finest, folks. And she started shooting at us! And paintball pellets HURT. 

We were trying to move away from the pain in this small as hell cage, but it wasn't working. Mainly because she called 3 of her bunny friends to surround the cage and fire at us all at once. This sucks. 

"HA-HA-HA-HA! I HAD HELP FROM KING WITH THIS. DO YOU LIKE MY LITTLE BUNNY ARMY?? CUTENESS BRINGS ALL THE PAIN!" the voice taunted. I'm sure Loti pre-recorded this, and rehearsed this countless times with the bunnies. But, who am I to ruin the illusion? 

Omega snuck to the front of the cage, and started working on picking the lock. "Just keep taking the pain for a few seconds! I'm working on the lock!" 

"Yeah, we'll just be here collecting all the bruising from these cute bunnies from hell!" I yell, wondering where the hell Lotti got these from. 

"Suuure, Omega. Like you 'worked' the generator in Dead by Daylight?! I lost all my progress, thanks to you!" Cheryl glared at Omega. Again, he just shrugged it off. 

"I tried my best, and that's all that matters." Finally, he unlocked the cage and we all spilled out. Jess couldn't fight the urge, and she used her expert skills in fighting to grab the paintball guns from the bunnies. And in seconds, combined them to make the biggest, most bad-ass paintball gun I've ever seen. 

"All right, bunnies. Time to dance." Jess smirked as the paint went flying and the bunnies ran screaming. Of course, Jess aimed wildly as the paint splattered all over Lotti's room. I refuse to clean this up. 

"Jess! Stop! Stop! They're gone!" I shout, trying to pull the gun out of Jess' hands. But, all I got was a hiss and a death glare in return. 

"Do not touch my precious! This beauty is my newest treasure. I shall give it a nice home now. Touch it, and you will pay..." Jess left, petting the newest addition to the weapons room, I'm sure. 

Aside from paint everywhere, things were normal again. 

Until, we suddenly heard the repeating sound of a bird squawking. Kind of an, "aahhhh~! aahhhh~!" sound, going on and on and on. 

"Oh, God damn It! What now?!" Omega sighed in annoyance. 

"Does she have birds, too?" Fallz asked, covering her ears. 

"Can someone shut that off??" Cheryl picked up a pillow to try to block out the sound. Nothing was blocking this sound out. 

"HOW LONG BEFORE THIS SOUND DRIVES YOU ABSOLUTELY INSANE?! Took me about 5 minutes to be honest... BUT, IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU SUFFER LIKE I HAVE!!" the voice shouted and laughed at us. She really has this all planned out, huh? 

Joe squinted his eyes and looked up. "I'm gonna try something." He jumped on the side wall and started climbing up. Towards the ceiling. Is there anything this guy can't do?? 

Just then, my phone started to ring. How I could hear that from all this noise, I'll never know. Oh, the perks of having perfect pitch. Besides, my ringtone is the instrumental of the rap battle Ryan was in. I'd recognize that any day. I picked up the phone and looked at the name. 

_Lotti Flourish_

Oh. Crap.  
I answer the phone. "Hello?" I look up and hear some banging on the ceiling. Of course it's Joe trying to find the source of the alarm. I make all sorts of gestures to get him to stop, but he gave me one back in return. Rude. 

"Hey, Tabby! It's Lotti! How's it going?" Yep. It was Lotti, possibly at the airport, waiting for her plane. This was not the best time to check up on the MadHouse. Hang up, hang up, hang up...

"Oh, I'm fine. Just checking on you guys before I board the plane. How's the MadHouse?" 

I hear a louder crash from behind me and it's Joe, on the floor, with some pieces of the ceiling and holding some wires in his hand. The alarm has stopped, but Lotti's curiosity has peaked. 

"What was that? Is everything okay in there? I heard a crash." 

I chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Yeah, sure! Yep. Everything is fine. Just fine. Nothing to worry about here. Just our usual shenanigans! You know how it is..." 

Joe jumped up in victory. "Mission accomplished." 

"Joe, shut up! Tabby is speaking on the phone with Lotti!" Cheryl whispered. The other Vagabonds sighed in relief as the annoying alarm finally came to an end. 

"You guys...you're not in my room, are you?" Lotti asked. I could see the lies forming in my head. 

"Nope! We are not. We are nowhere in your room. Absolutely not." 

"Maybe we should just tell her the truth." Omega muttered. I looked at him like he was crazy! Tell her about this?? Hell no! I shoved him so hard, he landed on her bed, which launched him out the door with a thud. Wow. Strong bed. 

"Ow."

"That's gotta hurt." Rae cringed. 

"That sounded like someone flying out of a bed. Kinda like one of the traps I installed in my room if anyone ever tried to break in. You didn't break in my room, did you?" Lotti thought. 

I was sweating bullets at this point. "W-what would make you think that?? That was...that was uh...that was Ryan playing Dead by Daylight with us!" 

Everyone looked at me like I had 3 heads. Ryan was taking a break from the MadHouse. Nowhere near here. And even Lotti knew that. 

"Ryan's back? He's not supposed to be back until next week! What made him decide to come back early? Can I talk to him? I'd love to say goodbye to him before I leave."

My eyes widened. Oh, no. She wanted to talk to Ryan, but Ryan wasn't here. Unless...

I put the phone on speaker and put it in front of Omega. "Sure, Lotti! Say hello to 'Ryan.'" I hint to Omega. He did a great impersonation of Ryan at a Vagabond party once. It's time for the party trick to return for an encore. 

Omega looked at me with wide eyes and mouthed, "what??" to me. Just in time for Lotti to cheerfully say, "Hey, Ryan! How was your vacation? Cut it a bit short, don't you think?" 

He glared at me, then cleared this throat. "Hello, Lotti my...dear. Yes, I'm afraid I missed you guys so much that I've decided to come back and spend the rest of my vacation back at the MadHouse. Home sweet home, and all that." 

I sighed with relief. He's still got it. I owed Omega a huge favor after this. 

"That's good. How's Dead by Daylight going? I heard a crash a few seconds ago. What happened?" 

Omega looked at the other Vagabonds for help. They just shrugged their shoulders, without a clue. 

"Oh, that? That was nothing you should worry about, Lotti. Everything's going plerfec-pertec- Gah! Perfectly fine." Omega flubbed, silently cursing himself for screwing up. But, we could hear Lotti giggling. 

"Aw, Ryan! You flubbed! I'm going on a plane for a few hours and I'm gonna miss hearing those. Hey, can you do something else for me?" Lotti asked. 

Omega got a little nervous, but kept the act up. "I-I must get back to the hooks, Lotti. Perhaps another time."

"Ryan, please?? Can you sing a little song for me, before I go?" 

Singing? Oh, dear. Talking like Ryan was one thing, but singing? Uh-oh...

"S-sing? Lotti, maybe there's something else I can do to send you on your way. How about a nice story?" Omega was trying so hard to steer the idea away, but Lotti wasn't having it. 

"Nope. Ryan, I want a song. And you know my favorite." Lotti smirked. 

"We're fucked." Joe muttered. 

"If you could, please remind me, Lotti my gaming champion, what this song is. The thoughts I have of video game murder cloud my memory. Mmmmm yes.... All the murder. All the hooks. Slowly and painfully, you will all fall. No one is safe from my wrath!" Omega let out his best Mad King evil laugh. I giggled, so it worked. 

And it worked for Lotti, too. "It's 'Africa,' silly! And start at the best part." 

Omega looked at me and I just shook my head. "Go ahead, Ryan! We love this song and you sing it so well!" I egged him on. 

He cleared his throat and let out his best Ryan wail to this iconic song:

_"It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you_  
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do  
I bless the rains down in Africa-" 

Immediately, the other Vagabonds face-palmed and groaned. 

"No! No! Wrong!" Cheryl whispered.

"Yep. Totally fucked." Joe face-palmed.

"Hey! That's not right. It's, 'I guess it rains down in Africa!' You always sing it like that!" 

"Uh..w-well, you see, Lotti...I kind of have something to tell you. You might not like to hear this." Omega was gonna rat us out! I gasped and shook my head. Don't you do this. Don't you dare! "The Vagabonds, though I love them to death, they have-"

"Oops! They called my flight. I gotta go! Tell me later, Ryan! See you soon! Oh! And tell the others to stay the hell out of my room, okay! Love ya! Byeeee!" Then, she hung up. Thank goodness.

\----------------------

"Thanks, Omega. You're a man of many talents." I sighed and put my phone away. 

"Yes, I know. Hopefully, I never have to do that again. That was embarrassing!" Omega face-palmed.

"Ah, you were fine! Almost sounded exactly like him. Didn't need my magic, either." Azriella smiled. 

"We kinda need to figure out how to clean all this up. We've made a big mess in here." Cheryl says, looking around the disaster area previously known as Lotti's room. Paint everywhere and now the ceiling was falling apart. MadHouse disaster strikes again!

Just then, the booming voice from before somehow speaks to us again. "YOU ARE STILL HERE IN MY ROOM? HOW DARE YOU?! NOW, YOU MUST PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE!" it exclaims. 

"Oh, come on! Can't you just leave us alone??" Rae pleaded. Not wanting to be part of the madness wasn't working out. Once there is chaos and you're around, you're stuck with it. 

Just then, the lights all shut off in her room. And down from the ceiling, from one of the unbroken tiles, dropped a disco ball. It started spinning and sparkling its colorful lights. 

Lotti's computers all turned on and started blasting music and flashing lights on and off. Oh, my God. It's a rave. And we were in it. Somehow, this music was so entrancing, it caused us all to start dancing. Yep. This is a thing.

"YOU WILL ALL DANCE FOR MY AMUSEMENT. DANCE, MONKEYS, DANCE!!" the booming voice laughed. 

"Hey! I take offense to that!" Ninja Monkey Joe yelled. 

The music was making us do every weird dance imaginable. Even dances that didn't fit with the techno beat. All that was left was for Ryan to suddenly return and dance the "Muppet Neck." 

Omega was already trying to control his feet and started to drag himself to the computers. But, with all the dancing and jumping around, it was hard to focus. Plus, things were falling from the shelves, pictures on the floor Funko POP! figures were falling and losing their heads. It was a right mess. 

"What is this song right now??" Jo asked, trying to bring a meme back, but also trying to stop her feet. Methinks the MadHouse ghost is around...

"Not the time for jokes!" I yell back, trying to clear a path for Omega. But, every other step wanted me to 'get down and boogie.' Feet, plz. 

Just as Omega got to the computers, a shot rang out and we all ducked. Then, more shots rang out until the disco ball had more holes than it started with. The music stopped, we stopped dancing, and then turned to the door. It was Jess, holding a shotgun. I have never been more happy to see Jess with a weapon in hand. 

"Next time, I'm getting the flamethrower." 

\----------------------------------------

We all agreed that we shouldn't be in this room anymore and called it quits. We spent a good half hour starting to get Lotti's room back the way we've found it. 

With Jess constantly switching heads with different Funko Pop! bodies, this could take a while. And could also give us nightmares. And King some ideas. _Oh, no..._

Suddenly, we heard the front doors open and close with a bang. Was Ryan back? 

"Oops! I forgot something! Silly me." It was Lotti! Back so soon. Why?!

I heard her running up the stairs as we were still cleaning her room. There was no hiding from this. Time to face the music. 

"Forgot my toothbrush. How could I-" She stopped at her door, which was wide open and filled with Vagabonds cleaning up, and Jess "trying" to put some collectibles back together. All of this... **in her room.**

Lotti immediately growled and glared at me. "Tabby...What the fuck is this?! I told you all to stay out of here! Why didn't you listen?? And what have you done?! My God! Those traps were supposed to keep you out, not cause more chaos!" 

Omega looked up from fixing her computers. Or playing PC games. Who could tell with this guy? "Lotti, please. You had one of your traps as a party. Things were meant to be broken."

"Like our feet. Oww..." Fallz groaned in pain. 

"Shut up, Omega! Somehow, I blame you for all this! Where's Ryan, anyway?" Lotti snapped. 

Omega suddenly felt the need to escape from the room. And fast. But, Lotti stopped him before he could get far. 

"Well, shit." 

Joe was on the ceiling (again, how does he do these things?!) fixing the wiring and the tiles as he shook his head. "Omega, I will remember you when she kills you. I call dibs on your gaming collection." 

"Hey! What the hell?! I'm not gonna die!" Omega looked up at the ninja monkey. Lotti brought his attention back down to Earth. 

"Oh, you wanna bet?" Lotti said with clear anger in her eyes. 

"Hey. If you wanna be angry at anyone, be angry at the one who had the idea to come in here." 

"It was Jess, wasn't it?"

"Nope! I was too busy playing with weapons until Tabby dragged me in here with the others." Jess pointed back at me. Welp. I'm dead. 

Lotti let go of Omega and immediately went for me. "Damn it, Tabitha! I didn't want anyone in my room! Only bad things happen to those who enter my room and they're not me! I wasn't being an asshole. I was warning you the whole time! I had those traps set up, but I didn't turn them off. I'm actually glad you were able to escape from them, but I was too lazy to turn them off in the first place. Soooo, this was partially my fault." 

Jo paused mid-clean and slowly turned to Lotti. "There was simpler way to turn all this off? Please enlighten me on what that is, before I lose my mind." 

Lotti walked to her XBOX, turned it on its side and there was a "turn all traps off, you lazy shit" switch on the wall. "It's right there. Plain as day; I thought I told you this before I left. Guess I didn't. Ah, well." She opened one of her drawers and pulled out a toothbrush. "Welp. I got what I came here for. Hey, since I'm here, maybe I can give Ryan a hug before I leave. Since he came back early and all."

Omega and I looked at each other. 

"Uh...well, about that. Remember when we had that party and Omega did his Ryan impression? Well, I kinda, sorta, asked him to do that again. So, that wasn't really Ryan on the phone. It was just Omega sounding like him. Heh, heh, funny, right? Pretty cool, right?"

"...so what you're telling me is that Ryan isn't back? And I'm not gonna get my hug?" Lotti slowly processed. 

"Uh, yeah. That's about right." 

Layne and the other Vagabonds slowly started to leave the room. It was just the 3 of us left, and Omega was starting to worry. 

"Hey! Get back here, guys! You didn't stop me! You didn't even give me an idea of what to say! You're just as guilty! Yet, I bet Lotti doesn't care and wants to kill me, anyway, right?" 

"Right." Lotti said, holding a metal baseball bat. Jess was the last to leave the room, so now I know how she got it. 

"You dare to impersonate the Mad King?! I should leave you to him for your punishment! But, he won't be back until next week. So, you'll have to deal with me now." Lotti gave a menacing glare as she started to walk towards him, Omega slowly backing up. 

"This isn't even my fault! Come on! Curiosity killed the TabiKat, you know!" Omega pointed at me. 

"I wish I had a tomato to throw at you right now..." I mutter, as I head back to my own room. I'm not gonna be around to witness the bloodshed! Are you kidding?! 

Omega couldn't back up anymore and just took off running down the stairs.

"NOPE! NOPE NOPE! I'm out! I am leaving! I'm going on my own vacation. Screw this! The house has driven me to a higher level of insanity, and I need a break!" 

"Where are you even going?! Come back here!" Lotti yelled. 

"Italy! Ciao!" He saluted and rushed out the house, slamming the doors behind him. 

Lotti just shrugged and started walking back to the Vagabond hall. "Hey, Tabby! Wanna help me break into Omega's room?"


End file.
